I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
