honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
