do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
