we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
