Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
