It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
