SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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