My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
