You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
