Just mADE A PArabola og urine
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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