Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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