just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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