Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
