Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
