i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
