we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
