The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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