Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
