she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
