Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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