I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
