When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
