hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
