we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
