Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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