The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
someone owes me an orgasm
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
