If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
