If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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