I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
