i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
