Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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