Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
