You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
