I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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