Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
