Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
