never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
