your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
