She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
