its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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