sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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