Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
