Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
