so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
