If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
