were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Terrible idea I love it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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