Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to have your abortion
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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