Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
only if we run a train.
done.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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