Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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