I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
