You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
