We're like a lot better than the average bears
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
