puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
